9 Best church humor and jokes that are insanely hilarious

When it comes to the faith of Christians, it’s usually perceived as a serious, personal, cherished, and sacred element of their lives. Nevertheless, everything related to the Bible, Christ, and the day of resurrection can be accompanied by clean church humor. After all, we just want to have a giggling session anyway.

These church jokes are just intended to make you chuckle so make sure you don’t end up rolling on the floor with laughter. Plus, next time you visit a church, you must try cracking church jokes but be mindful of the church rules (Of course, we don’t want the priests to kick you out of the church!).

Moreover, we have come up with this hilarious church humor and joke session for uplifting your mood. So brace your seatbelts to read puns about religion, faith, Bible, and much more in our today’s church humor article.

The two boys

two boys
source:dreamstime.com

On one fine day, 2 boys were going to their house from church after listening to preaching about the devil. One child asked the other one, “What are your thoughts about Satan after hearing about him at the church?” The other child answered, “You are probably aware of how Santa Claus turned out. It is most likely your father.

The church board meeting

meeting
source:cnn.com

The pastor exclaimed, “We will conduct a Church Board meeting instantly after the service,”

Soon when the service ended, everyone from the Church Board came to the sanctuary’s back to attend the declared meeting. But an unknown visitor appeared in the midst – a person who had never been seen at that church earlier.

After noticing that person, the pastor said, “Aren’t you aware that this is a Board meeting?”

The visitor replied, “Of course,” and after attending the current sermon, I believe I am quite bored like everyone else in this Board meeting.

Running to attend the Bible class

bible class
source:wyo.gov

A girl who was running with her full energy to attend her Bible class after visiting the church. She didn’t want to miss the class and so she prayed, ‘Please Lord, save my day from getting late.

Moreover, when she was praying and running, she stumbled on a stone and fell, ending up tearing and dirtying her clothes. She stood up, tried cleaning herself a bit, and then initiated running the second time again.

While she was running one more time, she again prayed, ‘Please Lord, I don’t want to get late …But this time don’t bump me as well!’

How can you enter heaven?

heaven
source:digitaloceanspaces.com

This joke comes with an extra dose of church humor. After reading it, we bet you will laugh uncontrollably.

In a Saturday class, a teacher questioned all the children, “In case I sell my car and my house, donate all of my savings to the church, and arrange a grand garage sale as well- will there be any chance to enter heaven? 

One of the children from the class replied, “NO!”

“After I’m done with mowing the yard, cleaning the church daily, and keeping all the things tidy, would I be allowed into heaven?”

This time too, the reply was the same, “NO!”

“Damn, “she proceeded, “then in which way can I enter heaven?”

From the last bench, a 5-year-old kid screamed, “You need to be dead!”

Little baby

little baby
source:helpguide.org

Little Harry’s newborn sister was crying so much after he came from the church.

Harry asked his mother, “From where did we get him?”

“He is sent from heaven, Harry.”

Harry exclaimed: “Whoa! I can imagine why they didn’t keep him!”

Funeral service

funreal service
source:irishnews.com

A lady’s funeral service is taking place in the church. But when the service ended, the pallbearers who were holding the casket mistakenly knocked into a wall, shaking the casket. Everyone heard a shaky moan. Curiously, they unlocked the casket and figured out that the lady was not dead. She stays alive for ten more years and then passes away. After that, a ceremony is again taking place at a similar church and when it ends, the pallbearers are once again holding the casket. As they were heading to the gate, the husband exclaimed, “Look out for the left wall!”

The secret of staying quiet at church

quite
source:hivisasa.com

A Friday college teacher questioned the students just before the class was about to end for a church break, “And why is it recommended to stay silent in church?”

Jeff answered, “because everyone is taking a nap.”

The dead dog

dead dog
source:thesprucepets.com

Sherry lived alone in a small town with his favorite dog for his own company. But one fine day the dog passed away, and Sherry went to the pastor and interrogated, “My dog is no more, is it possible for you to say a mass for an unfortunate animal?”

The pastor answered, “I’m sorry, I can’t have animal services in the holy church. However, certain Baptists in the town can help you out with this.”

Sherry said, “I’ll visit them today. And what do you think about $5000 as a donation for their service charges?”

The pastor replied, “My dear child! Why didn’t you inform me that you had a Catholic dog?

The rainy night

rain
source:fineartamerica.com

The church instantly required a layer of paint. So one of the priests thought of doing it on his own. But he had only 1 paint bucket. So he managed to collect some water and buckets, and he made the paint thin to cover up the church completely. Then he wasted his whole day painting the walls. But on the same day, it started raining cats and dogs – and all the paint got removed in no time. The priest was really demotivated and questioned God, “Why did this happen God, did you make it rain to waste all my efforts?”

To which he responded with a thunder – ‘Paint again! Paint again! And no more thinning of paint this time!

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